>> Return to the Web Fun Index

Wednesday, July 31, 2002

Dirty Techno Beast

Well, been having some fun. Spent most of the night playing about with loads of new music software. I'm looking for a simple, completely (or near complete) PC based studio.

I've made plenty bad ‘good music’ in the past. Meltwater has been my main bit of experimental music in recent years. All lo fi, punk ethic, soundscape lead, post-rock noise. I've been itching to get back to making music, but getting the band together and setting up all the equipment is a real drag. I'm looking for something that I can do for a few minutes, leave and come back too, hence the PC based solution.

Nursey and I used to make some real fucked up electronic music (1991), based on loads of our heroes like Gaye Bykers On Acid, Coil and Ministry. It was all lo fi, done on 2 cheap Casio samplers with minimal equipment. It was very rough, but a few good ideas and weird little ditties were made. We didn't have a name then, but I named us posthumously as Kung Fu Eddie and the Eggs and Bacon Man (that’s us in the picture), and you can hear our demented noise here

That’s the kind of noise I would like to try again, and to that end I actually bought some software. SimSynth is and ace and simple to use synth and sequencer from FruityLoops, and relatively cheap at $35. It takes minutes to master, and has some incredible noise capabilities. On top of that I managed to get my hands on Acid Pro ($399, as if!) and Cool Edit Pro, as well as several little utilities and some Sonny Chiba samples. I will keep you posted as to how it all works out…
Posted by Dio Bach at 22:13
Monday, July 29, 2002

Who Stole The Weekend?

Phew, that was the weekend that was. Non stop, got in Friday, had tea, painted till 3am. Went to bed, got up, painted all day... I hate decorating, but our living room had been shabby since we first moved in. All done now though. Soft lilac, laminate floor. Looks schmart, but it stole my weekend damn it... Still haven't caught up with the weekly B3ta Newsletter

Finally got my entry for this weeks challenge ship shape as well. The title is "The Eight Wonder of the World" and this is mine...

Posted by Dio Bach at 19:24
Sunday, July 28, 2002

Don't Expect Much

Its Sunday, I've been decorating, end of entry...
Posted by Dio Bach at 21:56
Friday, July 26, 2002

And Thus Google Spake...

Ok, didn't get the job, so it's a caravan on the Gower rather than a trip to the alps... ah well... :)
Posted by Dio Bach at 11:01
Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Google Prophecy Is Pants

So far so bad no sign of anything from the week of prophecies delivered by Google Image search. I was particularly disappointed that yesterday's didn't show…

And what the fuck is today and tomorrow all about?

Don't let this fun pastime stop you from trying to foretell your own future. Maybe I should become the Google Image search version of the Dice Man?

Lets see Google. "Job or Not?"


Eeeeek. Let's hope it is all a pile of pants…
Posted by Dio Bach at 09:10
Monday, July 22, 2002

Google Prophecy

Ah well, that was the weekend that was. Got me haircut, drank a few whiskies and chilled out with Mrs. Dio. Spent a lot more money than I could afford. They had a good sale on in MVC, so I bought 5 CD's at £5 a pop. My 20 films in 2x10 film Box sets of DVDs came also from www.deepdiscountdvd.com. An amazing deal, less than 20 quid for 20 films, inc shipping from the states. Watched a couple of Sonny Chiba films over the weekend, none of which I have ever seen before.

It included 'The Street Fighter' (pictured) which blew me away, a real classic, much loved by Tarrantino I believe, given as it was featured in True Romance. Highly recommended! Beautifully shot, some nasty Kung Fu and kicking music. Top marks, I'm looking forward to the other 3 Street Fighter movies (although I hear they don't match up to well.)

For the first time in years I read my stars at the weekend. A load of bollocks, but I have a big job interview on Thursday and want to know if there was any positive vibes to get (despite not believing horroscopes) in an I Ching kind of way. It gave me an idea at least. I will try and foretell my week using the google image search much beloved by me.

Monday to Friday, lets see what it has to offer. The search is "My fate on ---day" (yes, I realise it will be the same for everyone, but it comes down to what we read into it)















Ok. so Tuesday and Saturday should be fun, but Sunday can piss off.
Posted by Dio Bach at 13:02
Thursday, July 18, 2002

Wasted An Hour...

Doing this malarky rubbish, to impress my friends and spam at the b3ta board.

Some days, it is difficult for the Babot Bird to even take off...

Thanks to Uncle Philly Barbo for modelling his post apocalypotic bum boy make-up, as seen in the Welsh film Darklands, which I still haven't seen yet, and has several of my mates in it, including Nursey in some gothy make-up back in the days he had dreads...

Tried Ebay earlier, no sign of it...
Posted by Dio Bach at 21:06
Wednesday, July 17, 2002


Short and sweet tonight, a bit queasy, just found a disembowled mouse and been trying to scrub up its baked on guts from the kitchen floor... Not nice.
Posted by Dio Bach at 21:24
Tuesday, July 16, 2002

What Should I Do Tonight?

Got the house to myself tonight as Mrs Dio is out working. I could do something really constructive with my time if I wanted, but will I? Let us see if Google can give me visual clue... Google, "What Should I Do Tonight?"



Apprently I should sit on me fat arse! YES YES YES! Now is that on my fat arse in the room, or in front of the PC?

Incidently, have a look at the page source of where this image came from. (Select View on your browser and then Page Source) to see the outragoeus ASCII head tag. What a cool idea, but does fuck all for your Page Weight I dare say! Click here to see the site (check the source code).

Posted by Dio Bach at 14:30
Sunday, July 14, 2002

Shitty Sunday...

By now you may realise I have a strong dislike for Sundays. I didn't get out of bed till 12.00, then spent the afternoon doing housework, and recording all my old drum tracks from my drum machine, as I wish to flog it to make money for vices... If you would like to see the drum machine or buy it click here [DEAD LINK]

Me and Mrs Dio had a lovely night out last night down at the swanky yuppie theme park that is Cardiff Bay. We were surrounded by, come to think of it, a shitload of English middle class tits. One girl was babbling on about clitorises and willies, thinking herself so hip, open and daring. More like a friggin' fog horn. So fucking 80's. Clits, tits and bits. Yawn, but no really, you are the coolest love... FUCK OFF!

The old bay ain't what it used to be, but that's progress for you. My poor Great Gramps would be spinnig in his crematorium pot.

Its been fun having the Digital camera over the weekend, been fiddling with it a bit are getting to like it. Just took some nice sunsets from the window. Quite minimal, but I like the whispyness. Being all spiritual and shit, I does this to try and beat the yearning in my soul and the meloncholy of change. They look pretty nice too...

Posted by Dio Bach at 21:22
Saturday, July 13, 2002

Technicaly, Today is Still Friday...

It is you know, as I haven't been to bed yet. So today is still to my mind Friday

Today I went to the Cardiff Food Festival down in Cardiff Bay. Was there for work purposes, and have taken the crappy mavica digital camera out for the day. Crappy? Why Crappy? 1.3 mega pixels, storage media is floppy disk, which at the highest resolution only takes 4 images. Pain in the arse changing disk every 5 minutes.

Anyway, this was my first digital photo shoot, and these are some of the nicer images.

I particularly liked the Splott Boys, being as Splott is one of my old stomping grounds. Weird magician types, maybe with a nod to 'The Bastard Son of Tommy Copper' with the Fezs. One guy on an organ with a 70's formica bar on one side, and piano on the other. He reminded me of Jack Nance in Eraserhead, and had the same detached air about him. Anyway, these are the guys, along with some of the other shots I took today.

Posted by Dio Bach at 01:35

How We Won The War

Yes, its Friday, Its B3ta Challenge Day.

B3ta is one of my all time favourite websites, the number of times I have had to stop looking in the office, as I have been weeping with laughter is too many to mention. Make sure you check them out...

Anyway, heres mine.... The theme is "How We Won The War..."

Posted by Dio Bach at 01:02
Thursday, July 11, 2002

I Shat My Pants With Laughter

I have obviously become a 'puter nerd, as this long thing below is without doubt the funniest E mail I have ever been sent. Thanks to Big R for this!

You get those e mails all the time... Actual things that lawyers/doctors/policemen/any professional have said or written. This one comes from actual coversations in internet Chat Rooms...

[tatclass] YOU ALL SUCK DICK
[tatclass] er.
[tatclass] hi.
[andy\code] A common typo.
[tatclass] the keys are like right next to each other.

[[SA]HatfulOfHollow] i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

[ethiopia] i'm starving
[Zybl0re] get on up
[Zybl0re] get up
[Zybl0re] get on up
[phxl|paper] and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances \-[
* nmp3bot dances |-[
* nmp3bot dances /-[

[Kazz] Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
[Zaratustra] a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
[Zaratustra] like a network card without the appropriate driver.
[Kazz] Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
[Sharkey] And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

[studdud] what the fuck is wtf

[ohm] damn
[ohm] FUCK
[ohm] DAMN
[ohm] i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
[ohm] FUCK
[ohm] i go like this to her
[ohm] "i want to suck on your clit"
[ohm] FUCK

[serluny:] how long did it took u to learn c?
[ReDPriest:] 4.5 minutes
[serluny:] how did u do that?
[ReDPriest:] i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that [serluny:] what program
[ReDPriest:] download shit into your brain v3.1
[serluny:] how do i download it?
[ReDPriest:] go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com [serluny:] i cant download it something is wrong

reuben] somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
[reuben] i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
[cristobal] why don't you put ice on the stairs
[cristobal] and heat up the door knob
[cristobal] and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
[cristobal] then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....

[Damien2G2] Iheklp
[Longi]what did you say?
[Damien2G2]suinmboidty vcall tyhe polkicse
[Longi] what are u saying?
[Damien2G2] I glued muy ciock to muy hjand

::: .enter@6.53p] _YOU (harpeet@
::: .signoff@6.53p] _YOU (harpeet@; ...
::: .signoff@6.53p] BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p] ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p] CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving

[GaeMan] Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.
[chirpet] I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.
[chirpet] I am nice to everyone.
[chirpet] Always.
[chirpet] So shut up.
[chirpet] pigfucker.

[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc, but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ
[nikki] can you tell me what a clitoris is because someone is asking me about mine and I don't know what the hell it is

[blergh`] so i went to this fight and a damn hockey game broke out

[wild] i just asked a girl out
[wild] been 6 minutes no reply :|
[wild] maybe icq wasn't the way to go

[_Pete_] my abs have never looked so good in my life after losing these 10 pounds fast soon they'll turn to flab through lack of use though
[Avium] Pete you sound kind of gay
[Avium] no offense you sack of shit

[Allen] what about Hall?
[CactusJac] he died
[Mikey316] he was arrested
[Allen] make up your mind..
[CactusJac] He was arrested for dying.

[dodge] fuck, thought somthing was wrong with my 's' key then, it kept repeating, looked down and it turns out i had my finger on it

[er0s] you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when i thought i was wrong but was actually right.

[AGaeris] With her gone, now Breathe is the only girl-type left for me to talk to in here.
[@Breathe] Who said you could talk to me?

[AnalInvasion] my dick is so big it has feet
[NinjaInThePants] my dick is so big popcorn now comes in small, medium, large, and my dick.

[erno] hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

[blazemore] LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
[FlipTopBx] is it modded?

[+kritical] christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
[+Christin1] how do i do that

[BombScare] i beat the internet
[BombScare] the end guy is hard

[Hiroe] he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
[Hiroe] like, HUGE costume
[Hiroe] 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
[Hiroe] at some anime con in california
[Hiroe] they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
[Hiroe] he's riding the elevator down to the con space
[Hiroe] doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
[Hiroe] he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice

[calin] we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
[ecoli] ew.
[ecoli] wait, you "caught" him?
[ecoli] like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
[Aero] he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)

[ckx] women ask for it
[ckx] they act all old and mature
[ckx] and then you stick your cock up their ass
[ckx] and they get all bitchy
[ckx] "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

[Opcode] i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file

[Thumb] do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
[Lucent] who?
[Thumb] center for disease control
[Lucent] i said WHO
[Thumb] what? i'm asking you
[Lucent] World Health Organization

[blazemore] omg i love this song
[blazemore] Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
[Javi] blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

[django23] I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
[Epesh] django: you're right, that is pretty stupid

[kolby] you still in english?

[asr] 'fo sheezy.
[Sabboth] what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were.

[madthink] what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do
[maff] I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come out
[maff] with frosting and everything
[madthink] i need to get revenge in the worst way
[maff] cinnamon rolls arent really revenge

[Mikkel] If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody? [Celestya] i dont think so
[Mikkel] Wanna go camping?

[evenpar123] I think I'm losing it...
evenpar123: Losing what?
[evenpar123] my ability to tell the difference between games and reality
[evenpar123] Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
[evenpar123] And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."
[evenpar123] It was horrible...
[evenpar123] ugh

[`rip] when you go into a job interview
[`rip] and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are
[`rip] what do you say
[clay] you tell them that youre indecisive
[clay] and then stop talking

So there you have it... Please check out Big R's Blog as thanks for supplying theses...
Posted by Dio Bach at 20:30
Tuesday, July 09, 2002

Bleedin' Mouse!

Everything is taking me twice as long to finish because my old mouse is on it's last legs (2 years of Quake 2 and general abuse.)

Got a swanky new optical mouse on order from Jungle, but it seems to be taking an age to arrive. Can't come a moment too soon as every move takes and age to complete, and intricate dropping of the cursor takes an age.

Let's see what Goggle has to offer for a "Fucked Mouse"...

[DEAD IMAGE]Oh dear...


I'm not willing to spread such filth on my site...

Just in case Mrs Dio is reading...

Instead, you can have a nice picture of a mouse...

I'm off to Quake 2 world, to see if I can hit anything with this treacle rodent...
Posted by Dio Bach at 21:35


Got around to doing my piece for this week's b3ta challenge.

The title this week is "The All New Adventures of..."

If you click here you can see them all.

Anyways. Here's mine, the all new adventures of Bobbit's Bell

Took ages... :)
Posted by Dio Bach at 21:07
Monday, July 08, 2002


Man, monday has gone fast, all the days out I had last week are taking their toll. Decided I need a holiday like there is no tomorrow. Last proper holiday me and Mrs. Dio had was our Honeymoon, 4 fricken years ago...

It's our 4th anniversary on Thursday *makes mental note* and we've only been away once since we been married, to Lake Garda in Italy for our Honeymoon. We've had the odd quick break in the meantime (2 nights in Saundersfoot) so I think we are due one...

Thing is the money though, and the cats... Jos has kindly offered to feed them, but it would still be strange leaving them on their own for so long... :(

We fancy the alps, and have seen it may not be that expensive (about £170). Thing is though, we can only afford it if I get a promotion in the near future, which leaves me in the lovely position of mentally spending money from a job I ain't got yet, and in fact, stand a very big chance of not getting.

[DEAD IMAGE] Day trips to the Island it be then... Lets see what Google image says to "Day Trips To The Island..."

Now that's not fair... Long Island Whaling Museum. Instantly reminds me off the best day trip I ever had which was to Nantucket Island off Cape Cod, to forfill a life long Moby Dick inspired pilgrimage... Boo Hooooo....

Posted by Dio Bach at 22:30
Sunday, July 07, 2002

Still hate Sundays...

I do :)
Posted by Dio Bach at 22:55
Saturday, July 06, 2002


Phew, a day of firsts yesterday... Firstly, spent the whole day without actually going online and or a PC... That must be the first time in about 18 months that I've managed that. True to form the hotmail account was full of spam (thank god for the Junk Mail folder)

I also went on a magical mystery tour... Arrived at work 8.00. Boarded a mini bus. Didn't know where we were going. Suspected The Gower, about 45mins to the west of Cardiff. 2 hours later we were still driving east, which meant I was out of Wales for the first time in probably 2 years, and heading in to the heart of the great unknown (and avoid at all costs) of Engerland...

Eventually we turned up at the surprise location, none other than THE HENLEY REGATTA!!!! Yes, little old rough in combats and a tee, common as muck, Welsh as muck, with a load of similar like minded Welsh people me, at the complete Snobby wank fest that is the Henley Regatta... It's like part of 'The Season' FFS! The poshest of the rich, and the richest of the posh... What a laugh...

The looks on the faces of the blazer wearing public school boys as we lept out of our minibus was priceless. If a cartload of chimps had pulled up, they couldn't have looked more disgusted. We had a good spot, close to the river, and looked in amazement at the riches around us.

I amused myself by flicking mud off my shoes onto the backs of the popmpous, boating bloke's white trousers. We had a nice picnic, Tesco grub in amongst the tables full of Waitrose, M+S and Sainsbury grub, eaten off picnic tables with tidy clothes silver candalbra and posh cutlery. We hawked meat and cheese down with our fingers...

Never in the field of humanity, has so many people, with their heads so far up their arses been seen...
Posted by Dio Bach at 10:27
Thursday, July 04, 2002

Great Photo

[DEAD IMAGE] I like this, a friend sent it me earlier. I think it should be Radio Cymru... Says it all really.
Posted by Dio Bach at 16:23
Wednesday, July 03, 2002

The Mari Llwyd

This is quite a nice site with some interesting 'Infommercial' type short Flash films all about Wales and its history. One of our stranger Welsh customs is covered with the film entitled Mari Llwyd. Find out more here...

It puts Trick or Treat to shame...
Posted by Dio Bach at 13:11
Tuesday, July 02, 2002

Tonight I'm Knackered Like a Bastard...

Been a rewarding day today, on the second and final day of the DV Cam course. Learnt about colour temperature and sound recording. The guy teaching us was impressed with all our framing, and he was impressed enough to say how rare it was to find 4 people who were camera naturals. I put it down to years of painting and photography, but didn't mention it...

The improvement over the footage we shot yesterday was remarkable, the colour was balanced, the exposure was good and focus was spot on. Remember FEW Focus / Exposure / White Balance and you will not go wrong...

On an aside, being it the new office may have it's high points. The twonk opposite me was out for a while, and others in the office took the annoying cuddly toy he has (that's a whole other story) and strung it up from the ceiling fans, took a photo of it swirling around, and made it his desktop wallpaper!

He winds everyone else up in the office... Its unbelievable... I had to leave when he came back, as I would have cried into my desk and been unable to finish the camera course through stitiches...

Anyway, tonight I'm 'knackered like a bastard', so what does google give me? [DEAD IMAGE] Not the best, google... pick your ideas up...
Posted by Dio Bach at 20:46

Which Pre 1985 Video Game Are You?

I like this, click on it to take the test!
What Video Game Character Are You? I am a Thrust-ship.

I am a Thrust-ship.

I am small and tricky - where you think I am, I probably am not. I can work very fast, but I tend to go about things in a round about way, which often leaves me effectively standing still. I hate rocks. Bloody rocks. What Video Game Character Are You?
Posted by Dio Bach at 13:01
Monday, July 01, 2002

Up Shit Creek

Dawson's Creek to be precise... Man I hate that program. Mrs Dio is happily in Creek land at the moment, which is fine as it gives me a chance to escape for a wee while...

No one on the planet speaks like these geeks. It is just so annoying and self righteous. Did a quick goggle image search for 'Creek stinks of shit' and got this... [DEAD IMAGE]
Posted by Dio Bach at 20:32

Dio Scorsese

Bit behind today. Been learning how to be a professional DV Cameraman today. Good fun, learnt how not to cross the line, and how to use hyperfocal something or other to keep the camera in focus from about 4.5 foot to infinity. I never knew you could do this, and it's so simple...

This will only work on cameras with manual focus, but works on still cameras also. If you haven't seen the Meltwater site with my photos then you will not know I do a lot of still photography. I'm quite new(ish) to moving pictures though.

Basically, find an item about 6ft away and zoom in as far in as you can with the camera, and focus. Then zoom out to the end of the len's range, and the focus stays true up to about 6 foot to infinity. As in an SLR camera, you can improve the depth of field with the aparture.

As long as you keep the camera zoomed right out, you can move around, pan, etc and not worry about the focus, until it gets quite close. This technique is called fixed focus. The guy training us is a pro cameraman, and says he uses this technique on 95% of the stuff he shoots. It was certainly new to me!
Posted by Dio Bach at 20:15

Web Fun Sections & Bits

Blogging Friends & Contacts

Previous Posts

Dio Bach's Web Fun Archive